Jan06

What Not to Wear

It’s time to bid adieu to these tired trends now that it’s 2014 …

The donut bun. Thank god I’ve rocked the bob for as long as I have, otherwise, I’d be a victim to this bread good atop my head, too. The bun was fun, but now it just feels like you’re rocking a bagel  on your noggin.

No more peplum, please. I tried it here and there, but I was never really into this trend to begin with. It reminds me of business meetings, nylons and sack lunches in the conference room.

Maybe it’s my obsession with black, grey and overall drab hues, but pastels make me feel like I’m wearing sherbet. And sherbet is a sugary snack for kids. Grown adults in pretty pastels is a little too sickeningly sweet for me in the new year.

Digs at designer monikers. Didn’t get into it to begin with, not down with it in 2014.

I’m going to hate on these because I spent the better part of two summers trying to find a pair that fit my frame. And guess what? I’m convinced these don’t look good on anyone. No one. They give you ’90s mom crotch and an ass that starts in the middle of your back. And after seeing every New York hipster on planet earth rock them out at Basel, I’m over it.

My public disdain for these hideous sneaker wedges is no shocker. Please, no more. Just wear a sneaker. Or a wedge. Or for pete’s sake, go barefoot. Just stop wearing these.

And last but not least, it’s not a trend you wear, it’s a verbal trend. Everything from clothing stores and pop up shops to lunches have someone curating them these days. Let’s give the word back to its rightful owners—gallerists—and leave it with them.

 

Pics plucked from Pinterest.