Two days ago I went to my dear friend Erin’s wedding. It was her second wedding. We just happened to get divorced around the same time, which made me feel like I had someone I could talk to who truly understood where I was coming from. Everything about her wedding was perfect in a way a first wedding could never be. The pretensions, the stuffy, the everything-has-to-be-Cinderella perfect didn’t exist. It was just two people standing up before all of their friends vowing to love one another.
Through those vows Erin told a story that hit home base for me. She said, “If you would have asked me a year ago if I believed in true love, I would have said no.” She went on to say that if you had asked her a year ago if real happiness with another person existed, she wasn’t sure. If you had asked her a year ago about trusting another person completely, she wasn’t certain it was possible. Yup. All thoughts I have/had/hold/held on to.
And then, a year later, someone walked into her life and changed her perception. Through this person she gained a new lease on life, love and all the things she’s tossed into the giant uncertainty pile.
As the words about a bleary outlook on love found their way from Erin’s mouth and into the microphone and their sounds of fear and disbelief magnified and filtered through the sound system, I realized they weren’t words of someone who had given up on love, they were the words of someone who was guarded. Cautious. Afraid. A feeling I know all, too, well. But she laid her guard down. And there she stood, starting a new chapter of her life.
Sitting there watching my friend take the plunge into a world she had known before, albeit different this go-round, gave me an odd sense of hope, like finding feeling in a limb you’ve rendered dead. (Sorry for the morbidity, but, in all honesty, love can do that to you.) I’m not sure I ever want to get married again, but it gave me this weird hope that true love maybe does still exist. You know, the kind that lasts forever. That the right person is out there. And it’s not about being swept off your feet, it’s about finding what works. The days of Prince Charming, this man that completes you, may be gone, but the idea that there’s someone out there who complements you still exists.
Before she ended her vows, she thanked Brad for loving her for being perfectly imperfect. When it’s all said and done, that’s what I guess we are all looking for. Especially, those of us in our 2.0. It’s not about finding the perfect person. I know for a fact perfect people don’t exist. It’s about finding someone who loves you despite your flaws. Who celebrates them. And shows you theirs, too.
And if you’re lucky enough to find that someone, go ahead, let them in. You never know where it may lead.