Tales From the Trenches: The Designer Shoe Sale at Last Call Neiman Marcus

Shoes! Loads and loads of designer shoes!

The line.

This morning, I gave into the lunacy of my shoe obsession and trekked to Sawgrass Mills to go to Last Call Neiman Marcus for the designer shoe sale, where shoes were up to a whopping 55 percent off. As you can see from the pic above, I was not alone. Hoards of shoe junkies lined up to see what they could nab. Ah, things that make me feel normal. Things, however, I’m completely embarrassed to admit: I ran like a racehorse when the door opened. I grab boxes of shoes until I’d created a tower that was nearly as tall as me. I scrounged around for discarded size 7s, even looking under couches. I shoe profiled and followed around a mother/daughter duo who were over their two Louboutin limit. But in the end I got shoes on super mega sale, and I lived to tell about it.

The bounty (round one): One pair of Chloe (just OK), three Louboutins (two too big and one a weird color), one YSL (I can’t even talk about how they were too big. It hurts too much), one Gucci (another weird color) and a pair of Tory Burch flip-flops (just OK).

These YSL stunners were half a size too big, as were most of my mountain.

In the midst of shoe madness, I fell in love with a pair of Louboutin patent leather platforms that did not come in my size, tried on a pair of Lanvin sandals that felt like box cutters were stabbing the top of my feet and walked around with three boxes of skins until I finally decided on one. I saw the good, the bad (a lot of which came from Tom Ford) and the seriously ugly (which looked like a raccoon and a Louboutin mated).

In the end, the scene of the shoe crime wasn’t nearly as bad as past experiences (see Shoe Carnage at Saks, where, yes, I got my hand smacked). And a limit was placed on the number of designer shoes you were allowed to take home: two Louboutins, two Guccis, two Prada, etc …

While I didn’t secure the silver platforms or the Choos I set out to find, I did go home with something I’ve had my eye on for half a year now. On sale, nonetheless. Now that’s positive reinforcement for the next can’t-miss-sale to come.

Why, Tom, why? You’re track record, prior to me seeing these, was untouchable.

My spoils, seriously studded skins from Sam Edelman. Also doubles as a form of self-defense should snatchy shoe grabbers get out of line or a little too close.