Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

This is not fake, it’s eco-chic.

There are two types of people in this world: Those who take their tree down the minute Christmas is over and those who leave it up well into Valentine’s Day. Wait, there’s actually three: Those who don’t celebrate Christmas at all and, therefore, have no issues with dried up pine needles shedding all over their house. Oh man, I just thought of a fourth: Those with “eco-friendly” (because fake is such harsh word) trees. Before I come up with any more, let me get to the meat of my post.

Sure, they smell nice and they are, essentially, a giant nightlight for your living room, but after Saint Nick does his thing, it’s time to take the tree down. But then what do you do with this dried up, sugar-water drinking, pine needle dropper? Especially if you went all out this year and opted for the Rockefeller Center-sized monster. That thing is going to be a beast to get to the curb. And, in Miami Beach, I’m sure there is some kind of fine (there is for everything else) for leaving a monstrous dead tree on the side of the road. Redeem yourself for not purchasing that “eco-friendly” tree and check out the TreeCycling Program.

If you live on the ground level or a low-rise building or house, TreeCycle will come to your casa FOR FREE and take away your tree. Hotels and condos can also opt for a bulk service, but a fee will be added. These trees are then taken to a center where they will be ground into mulch, which is then available for free. That’s two frees in two consecutive sentences. Kind of makes up for that Christmas bonus you didn’t get again this year. Meh, not really.

To get more info, call 786.447.7746 or e-mail

Really, its not going to stay evergreen forever. Just take it down already.