Miami Love from Juicy Couture

A bag destined for the beach.

In general, I think things with the word “Miami” sloshed across the front of them are pretty tacky. To me, they scream, “Hello, I’m a tourist and I want everyone to know I went to Miami for my bachelorette party/birthday/spring break.” It’s a non-verbal way of saying, “I spent too much time in the sun, ran around the city baked like a lobster, rented a hummer SUV, drank too much at LIV—or some other monster-sized nightclub—and pretended to be out-of-town royalty.” And don’t even get me started on those “I’m in Miami Bitch” T-shirts. It’s grammatically incorrect. There’s a comma after Miami, people. A comma. Grammar nerds everywhere, ya feel me?

The latest “Miami” tagged item to make its way to my inbox, Juicy Couture’s limited edition Malibu Straw Tote ($98). Sure, it’s ironic that’s it’s called Maibu, especially when it has Miami stamped in hot pink across it. But in terms of a beach bag, it’s actually cute. And, more importantly, it’s not grammatically offensive.

The bag recently launched at the Juicy Couture Lincoln Road store, as well as online, but only in limited quantities. It’s nice to see our city getting some play as a beach bag destination. But would I wear one? No. My license plate is pretty much the only place I’ve deemed acceptable to broadcast counties, city names and the like. But I wouldn’t glare at an out of towner carrying one. In fact, if you insist on wearing something with Miami on it, I implore you to go with this. It’s definitely an improvement on the tacky tourist garb that gets donned on our sidewalks. Just don’t pair it with shorts stamped Miami Beach across the butt. Please.

Find the Juicy Couture Lincoln Road store at 1103 Lincoln Road in Miami Beach.